Pro tip - Don’t walk out with both copies of the fucking receipt. That’s basically the same as me getting stiffed.
~*~*~tHe MoRe YoU kNoW~*~*~
It takes about 3.4 seconds for me to go from “this is the best day ever” to “I want to stab every human being on planet Earth
These people need to calm the fuck down
I literally cannot STAND it when people walk up to the bar, catch my eye contact, then wave at me or wave me over.
I fucking see you. Do you think I’m just going to ignore you? Can I finish whatever the fuck I’m doing?
And another thing, when I’m talking to another customer or I have my back turned at the computer, don’t fucking talk to me or give me an order.
I got my ass handed to me last night - and in the midst of it, this dude keeps interrupting my flow to ask for a taste of this, or a pint of that, or to order food… and its like - I fucking get it. You want to order shit. But how are you really gonna crawl up my ass when you’re sitting there with a drink already and I’m doing 80 things at once? Seriously mother fucker? Newsflash - theres one of me and 50 of y’all. I guess you missed that grade school lesson EVERYONE HAS TO WAIT THEIR TURN. JACKASS.
After Clocking Out and a Customer Tries to Ask For Shit
Let’s talk about my shift tonight
ACTUALLY LETS DON’T BECAUSE ITS 4:30 IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND I’M EXHAUSTED.
A bunch of bros walk up to the bar on a busy Friday night and the first one orders a fucking mojito.
Then his friend goes, “Dude what rhymes with mojito?!”
And the rest yell, “BROOOOOJITOOO”
Get. the fuck. out of my bar.
The lights are turned off for God’s sake
If I say to you “Hey guys it’s time to go, we’re closing the building”
Don’t respond with “Oh, the building is closed?”
What did I literally just say to you